


Homework

by Conflictedpsyches



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conflictedpsyches/pseuds/Conflictedpsyches
Summary: So, I just played Persona 5 this year, and I loved every second of it. Of course, my main gripe, as with most things that Atlus makes, is their... terrible track record with queer representation. ...And also letting teenagers date adults.So um, this is my fic where Ren dates Kawakami...? But! It's 5 years later, Ren has graduated college and Kawakami is a bored, listless, late 20's teacher. Oh, also Ren's trans. And a lesbian. And uh, just started her new job at Kawakami's old maid service. And guess who her first customer is?
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Kawakami Sadayo, Iwai Munehisa/Tae Takemi, Kawakami Sadayo/Kurusu Akira, Kawakami Sadayo/Persona 5 Protagonist, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba
Comments: 25
Kudos: 85





	1. Transferring

Sadayo Kawakami rolls her eyes at the third dumb question this period. It's been a long week, and honestly, these last couple of years have been… disappointingly dull. Admittedly, there's no such thing as an interesting year after… that year, 5 years ago. Not that she wants life to be that… interesting again. That was exhausting on the opposite end. But it would be nice to go back to a little bit of drama. At the very least, the first semester that year was abuzz with drama, never a dull day. 

"Everything ok, Kawakami-Sensei?" A quiet voice disrupts her reverie.

"Y-yeah. Sorry, long night. Listen, let's just call it for the day. You all can study independently today." Kawakami groans. Honestly, teaching was getting exhausting in general these days. She needs… something to happen. 

She misses Akira, she realizes.

_ Troublesome dork. Making me miss you, haven't even seen you in 5 years. Even if you weren't… well, you know, you'd still be… a fascinating student.  _

She muddles through the rest of the day in a haze, out of sorts.  _ Haven't felt like this since I was moonlighting. Then I was doing way too much, stretching myself too thin. Now I'm just… bored. Unstimulated.  _

Kawakami gets home to her apartment a wreck. "...And yet I still can't bother to clean my own apartment." She sighs. "...Fuck it, I'll do it later." She sits down and starts trying to grade her student's tests, but keeps getting distracted by the piles of beer cans and dirty laundry strewn around. "...Fuck. I'm not getting anywhere while the place looks like this." She picks up a can and grimaces. "I really should lay off. It's a bit sad for a woman my age to be drinking alone." She tidies slightly, but then stops. "...I suppose it's good enough for now." She tries to go back to work, but slams her head on her table after a few minutes. "Fuck, I can't handle this."

Kawakami throws herself on the bed, face first. "I was a maid, I should be able to clean my own goddamn apartment."  _ A maid. Fuck, I shouldn't, right? Do I even still have that number? _

She grimaces and looks around, before finding the number to her old maid service. "God, this is skeevy as hell, right? I shouldn't do this. I'm a grown ass woman, I should be able to clean my own apartment after work. I shouldn't contribute to this."  _ On the flipside, at least the girl they send will know they have an easy assignment… nothing else implied…  _

She gulps and calls the number. "...Maybe the number's changed, maybe the line's busy-"

"Hello, Master! Becky speaking, how may I assist you today?" A perky voice calls out on the other side.

Kawakami's eyes widen.  _ Fuck, that name. Why that fucking name?  _ "Uh, yes-"

A giggle on the other side. "Oh, sorry, Mistress, then. My apologies. How can I help you?"

_ Argh, this is harder than I expected.  _ "Um, I just need to request the help of a maid tonight to clean my apartment?" 

The girl on the other end giggles. "We'll be right over, Mistress. Can I get your address and credit card information?"

Kawakami rattles it off. She's worked in the service long enough to know the business end is as… unshady as it can be, that's reasonably safe. 

"We'll send someone over shortly, Mistress~ Hope to see you soon~!"

Kawakami flops back down on the bed, filled with instant regret. "Fuck, I've already paid, I'm going to look like a total dumbass if I cancel. I should know better. I shouldn't be doing this."

Then she suddenly has a realization.  _ What if it's one of my students? Fuck, I didn't even think about that. It's certainly not illegal, per se, for me to hire a maid, but it certainly doesn't look good. And the poor girl will be mortified if she realizes. Not that I'd ever tell anyone, of course, we have to stick together, after all. But- _

Suddenly, a knock on the door shakes her out of her spiral and she gulps.  _ Dear God, that was fast.  _ She should have expected this, the reason she signed up with this agency was because it was so close to her apartment after all. She calls out, "It's unlocked!" and turns away from the door, embarrassed to show her face. 

"Hello Mistress, my name's Becky and I'll be taking care of you- No. Oh shit." The girl starts laughing uncontrollably. "Oh my God, Kawakami-Sensei is that you? What are the odds?"

She turns around, burying her face in her hands. "Go ahead, shame me for not being clean, for being a creep who hires maids-"

"No, Kawakami, look at me. Please." She peeks through her fingers. Probably a wig, definitely a lot of makeup but that's unmistakably- 

"Akira?!?" The last thing she sees before she faints is Akira laughing at her, before she hears a sudden "Oh fuck!"

As she comes to, her face burns as she realizes what the hell is going on. Akira offers her a cup of water. "So, I uh, suppose you want an explanation. But what are the odds, right?"

Kawakami gulps down the water and nods.

"So um, first things first, I'm not going by Akira these days. I changed my name-"

"After the Phantom Thief stuff? I don't blame you." Kawakami thinks for a bit.

"...Please don't interrupt me, Sensei. N-no, I changed my name in university, um, after I came out as trans. My name is Ren, these days." 

_ Oh. Ohhhhhhh. Well, fuck, now I feel bad.  _ "Oh, uh, sorry… I didn't mean-"

"No, you couldn't have known, it's not really an issue." Ren smiles at Kawakami, though a sadness lies behind her eyes.

"You know, you're a hard person to read, A- Sorry, Ren. But… You don't seem happy about this. Why are you here? Surely you had a million book deals and tours going around as a former Phantom Thief, right? Why do you need money as a maid?"

Ren shakes her head. "No, I didn't go for any of that. You weren't wrong that I changed my name after all that, not entirely, anyway. I really, um, just wanted to put that behind me. That's not me anymore. I just wanted to go to college, get a degree, maybe find a way to keep changing the world in less… flashy ways."

"I didn't think the college debt was that bad." She thinks back to her time, though admittedly, there were always programs for teachers, high demand and all that.

"Well, not really the COLLEGE debt, so much… More, um, the, we'll say, cosmetic procedures?"

_ Oh. Right. Fuck.  _ "Shit, I'm sorry, Ren. I keep sticking my foot in my mouth, don't I?" A couple of trans students have shown up in her classes, but it's still been a bit of a learning curve. She's tried to be as understanding as possible, at least, she thinks she's done a reasonably good job. "On an unrelated topic… Why Becky?"

"Um. Well, it was uh, the first thing I thought of?" She burns a bright red as she looks at Kawakami. "I could uh, probably ask you the same thing."

Kawakami laughs slightly. "You got me there. Dear God though, I had a small heart attack when I heard that name though."

Ren giggles. "Yeah, I bet. Sorry, Mistress~ ...You know, you're my literal first customer."

Kawakami blinks. "...You're shitting me."

Ren shakes her head. "No, seriously. That's why it's so fucking funny that it's you. I literally just finished filling out the paperwork yesterday. Tonight's my first shift."

Kawakami laughs. "Fuck, and you absolutely were not expecting me, of all people, what a world, right?"

Ren sighs. "I should have known your number, but it didn't even cross my mind, I was so nervous. ...I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous what would have happened if you hadn't been my first customer. I'm not exactly, er, a standard maid."

Kawakami blinks. "What do you- Oh. Ohhhh… Fuck." She hits Ren upside the head. "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING, YOU DENSE GIRL?"

Ren clutches her head. "Oww! I was thinking I'm good at cooking and cleaning-"

"AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR CLIENTS WANT MORE THAN THAT?"

"..."

"...Fuck. You've already thought about this, I know you. You're dense, but you know what you're doing. Fuck." She slumps on the couch, and rubs her temples. "...Be careful, ok?"

Ren nods slowly. "...I know."

Kawakami sighs. "You're… different than your school days. Less… I don't know, confident."

"...It's not been a fun few years." Ren looks faraway for a bit.

"...I bet. Have you finished university?"

Ren nods. "Graduated top of my class in Poli Sci."

Kawakami beams. "That's my girl! I always knew you had it in you!"

"...No you didn't."

Kawakami gulps. "...No I didn't. You're right. I was… not great to you the first while you were at Shujin, was I?"

Ren shakes her head. "No, no you weren't. No Kamoshida, of course."

Kawakami shudders. "...Oh, that would not have ended well."

Ren shivers. "...Trust me, I've thought about it. I suppose I am glad we got him out of there when we did."

Kawakami suddenly buries her face in her hands. "I just remembered I called you over to clean my apartment."

Ren laughs softly. "Yeah, you did. I suppose this is payback."

Kawakami burns red. "I shouldn't have to do this, I was a maid myself."

Ren looks over at her. "And? We all need help from time to time, Mistress."

Kawakami gulps. "...You don't have to call me that. You don't have to call me Sensei, either, for what it's worth, please, um, call me Sadayo."

Ren smiles. "Ok, Sadayo. As you wish~" She stands and starts cleaning. "You know, you should probably-"

"Cut back on the beer? I know… It's just been a long… well, year, really."

"Wanna talk about it? I've been told I'm a great listener." She grins over her shoulder at Sadayo. 

She blushes. "I uh, told you a lot, didn't I?"

Ren giggles. "It's ok, you heard a lot from me too."

Sadayo flops. "It's hard these days, you know? School is… so dull, and I don't really have hobbies. Hell, I don't even really do anything at all since you stopped calling."

Ren leans forward.  _ Fuck, she's really cute in that dress. Wait, what? _ "Do you want me to call you to my place sometime, for old time's sake? I've still got the dress obviously~"

Sadayo blinks. "Um. This is a trick question, isn't it?"

Ren grins. "What do you think?"

Sadayo groans and buries her face in her hands again. "You recognize how weird this is, yes?"

"Oh, absolutely bizarre. But nothing I'm not used to~"

Sadayo groans more. "How are you always so… unfazed? Just, like, react."

Ren grimaces. "Oh trust me, I do." She looks sad, for a brief moment before the mask comes back on and she goes back to cleaning. 

Sadayo sits in awkward silence. "...How's Miss Niijima? You were dating her last I recall-" She kicks herself as she realizes that's probably a sore spot, seeing Ren freeze up.

"Makoto and I broke up last year. And before you ask-" Sadayo closes her mouth. "No, it's not because I came out. Makoto has another girlfriend now. Honestly, she was worried about coming out herself as bi. No, we broke up because she's a cop now."

Sadayo blinks. "Congratulations? There's something I'm not getting."

Ren rolls her eyes. "I knew it would come up at some point. Even though I've been cleared of all charges, I'm still a criminal in a lot of the eyes of the people Makoto works with. Not to mention, now…"

Sadayo sighs. "I'm sorry for bringing up a sore spot."

Ren shrugs. "I'm mostly over it. Besides, she would have talked me out of this job, and we wouldn't have run into each other again."

Sadayo blinks. "Wait, would have? She didn't try to anyway?"

Ren gulps. "We um, didn't break up amicably. Let's leave it at that. We both said some… pretty awful things to each other. I haven't spoken to her in awhile." She smiles sadly. "Is it sad I talk to her sister more often these days?"

Sadayo sighs.  _ I can't stop sticking my foot in my mouth, can I?  _ "Well, that's a shame."

"I know, Makoto was-"

"No, Ren, that's a shame she couldn't see what she's missing. You're a wonderful young woman, Ren."

Ren blinks. "Oh, um, thank you, Sadayo… You're pretty great too…"

Sadayo rolls her eyes. "What happened to the ladykiller I used to know? You wouldn't be caught dead saying something so lame."

Ren bites her lip. "That ladykiller became a lady."

"...Right, sorry. Fuck, I just can't win today, can I?"

Ren sits down next to Sadayo and rubs her back. "Listen, it's not your fault. This is weird, I know it is."

"So weird."

"So weird," Ren concurs. "But you're a good person, Sadayo. I know you are. I looked up to you, you know?" She blushes. "After I got to know you, anyway. You're really giving, and kind, and you don't take shit from people. And um, yourereallycute."

Sadayo blinks, not sure how to process that last bit. "Um, thanks?" She sighs. "It's probably time you should get out of here, Ren. I'm sorry to waste your time."

Ren giggles. "Like I said, consider it payback. If you ever need me, just give me a call, ok, Mistress~?" She walks out.

Sadayo groans.  _ Well, that was a trainwreck.  _ She looks around her apartment.  _...This place doesn't look half bad though. Kid works fast. _

She looks over at her pile of tests to grade and grimaces. "...Yeah, that's not happening after that. I need a fucking drink."


	2. Free Period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren tries to go to bed after work, Morgana tells her to go out and have fun instead.

Ren flops into bed, not bothering to get out of the dress. Morgana headtilts and looks at her. "Everything ok, Ren?"

"Oh… Um, I'm fine." She sighs. "Ran into Kawakami today at work."

Morgana furrows his brow, best a cat can, anyway. "Your old teacher?"

Ren nods. "My first customer, what are the odds?"

Morgana blinks. "Wait, isn't she the one-"

"Yeah. That one."

He puts a paw on Ren's knee. "That can't have been… fun, I guess." Morgana's tried really hard the last few years to be more understanding. He's still a cat though.  _ I appreciate the effort at least.  _

Ren gives a hollow laugh. "Honestly, it was hilarious, after the initial shock. But then she started asking a bunch of questions. And then Makoto came up."

Morgana hisses. "Ouch…"

Ren sighs. "She couldn't have known. Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't come up sooner."

Morgana kneads Ren's leg and curls up in her lap. "Still. I remember that summer. That wasn't pretty."

Ren nods, thinking for a moment about it. "Yeah. Either way, I suppose I do still appreciate Kawakami hiring me tonight more than other people."

Morgana winces. "Yeah, I know you were worried about starting this job. But you're a Phantom Thief, you can-"

"Handle gross customers, yeah, yeah, I know. I've heard it all before. Doesn't make me feel a whole lot better though." Ren gets up slowly, letting Morgana hop off, before getting changed for bed.

"...You should do something, Ren. Staying cooped up in your apartment all day, going to work, and then crashing the minute you get home is going to make you feel worse."

"You spend five years telling me to go to bed on time, and the one time I actively get ready to go to bed myself, you tell me to go out?" Ren rolls her eyes. 

Morgana shakes his head. "I worry about you. You haven't talked to your friends in a while, you've been back in Tokyo, what, 3 months, have you even gone to see Boss yet? Does he even know you're back?"

Ren gulps. "Well… About that."

Morgana blinks. "Shit. He doesn't know, does he?"

"Futaba knows! I um, kinda hoped she'd tell him."

Morgana looks mortified at Ren. "Ren! The man took care of us for an entire year! He deserves to hear the truth from your mouth!"

"It's not that simple, Morgana!" Ren immediately feels bad for snapping at him, but sighs. "It's not that simple… I… can't lose another dad."

Morgana sighs. "Futaba understood, right? She's got Boss wrapped around her finger. It'll be fine."

"I- I know that, but…"

"Bring her with you!" Morgana hops on the dresser to look Ren in the eyes. "She told you she's got your back, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

Morgana baps Ren's nose with his paw. "You can't put this off forever. He deserves to know."

Ren sits down. "I know you're right. But not tonight. He's already closed down LeBlanc for the night, and-"

"So you'd rather do it in public?" Morgana headtilts.

Ren blinks. "...A little. He's less likely to raise a scene if there's witnesses."

Morgana shakes his head. "I'm a little offended on his behalf that you think he'd raise a scene regardless. I listened to him a lot when you weren't around. I know he's a good man."

"I know he is too! But… Ugh, you don't get it Morgana. This is hard."

Morgana looks down at Ren, before leaping into her lap. "No, I don't. But has anyone else had a problem with you coming out?"

"No… but-"

"No buts! You're marching your butt down there tomorrow, and tonight, you're gonna have fun!" Morgana hops up back onto the dresser, looking smug. Well, more smug than usual.

Ren sighs and looks through her contacts.  _ I'll see Futaba tomorrow, probably, Ann's out of the country with Shiho right now, I think, Haru's probably busy with her cafe… and honestly probably doesn't want to see me right now anyway. That just leaves the guys… Or, well, I could talk to one of my other Confidants. ...I haven't been to Crossroads in a while, did I even tell Lala? Nah, that's probably not a good idea right now. Ugh, why is this so hard… _

Morgana looks up at Ren, curious. "What's eating you? You hardly spent a night not on the town last time you were here."

Ren groans. "Yusuke makes everything A Thing, you know? And Ryuji, he's great, but he's garbage around girls, especially when he's tried to get one of them to go skirt chasing with him too many times to count." 

Morgana blinks. "What about your other Confidants? You had a ton of friends in Tokyo. Oh, what about that fortune teller?"

Ren mulls this over. "Chihaya's probably free… But I dunno." She flops on the bed. "Why is this so hard, Morgana?"

Morgana curls up. "Well, whatever you do, you shouldn't mope around here."

She sighs. "Yeah, I know."

A message pops up on her screen. 

_ "Ayyyy, ur looking for some1 to hang out with? owo" _

Ren giggles slightly. "Futaba's a dork. I should have guessed she was listening."

_ " Did you bug my room again? I thought I confiscated your key last time." _

_ " Hey! No! ... I bugged your phone." _

_ "Like that's better. Yeah, Morgana's telling me to not go to bed." _

_ "Wow." _

_ "I know, right? But I don't know what to do… I need to talk to Boss tomorrow, I was gonna see you then." _

_ "Yeah, I heard lol. I can't believe you never told him." _

_ "I meant to! But um…" _

_ "Sojiro's a good guy." _

_ "That's what everyone keeps saying, but…" _

_ "Ren. You're going to have to get over this sooner or later." _

_ "...I know Futaba. Who do you think I should hang out with tonight?" _

_ "Inari's being dumb right now, so not him." _

_ "Oh, are you two off again right now?" _

_ ">/////< We're not dating!!!" _

_ "Suuuuuure you aren't. Well who else would you recommend?" _

_ "Ryu-kuuuun's always free~" _

_ "You're never letting him live that down are you?" _

_ "I have a dozen backups full of his mom calling him that, just in case I need it. O3O" _

_ "You continue to scare me, Futaba. I guess I can call him… It isn't too late though, is it? I know he got that job as the track coach recently." _

_ "Facebook says he's still awake. Dunno why he still uses Facebook, but whatevs." _

_ "Eh… Well, let's give it a try." _

_ "Believe in the me that believes in you!" _

_ "Whatever you say Futaba." _

Ren sighs as her finger hovers over Ryuji's contact. Morgana brushes against her leg. "Ryuji's your best friend, you need to talk to him."

"I know you're right, but…"

"You're giving an awful lot of buts, lately. You need to put yourself back out there."

Ren nods and calls Ryuji. He picks up nearly immediately. "Holy shit, Ren, it's been ages! How are you doing buddy?"

Ren winces. "Um, fine, listen, I was wondering, are you busy tonight?"

She can almost hear his grin on the other end. "You know I'm always free, pal. What's up?"

Ren sighs. "Have you eaten? Meet me at the diner?"

"Aww, yeah, it's a da- I mean, it's a plan!"

Ren rolls her eyes. "Cool, see you there soon."

She hangs up and sighs again. "...Ryuji's a good guy. He tries hard."

Morgana nods. "Yeah, so what's wrong?"

"All this buddy, pal, nonsense. He doesn't talk like that with Haru and Ann… I'm worried he still sees me as one of the guys."

Morgana nods. "You did tell him to not make a big deal of it…"

Ren flops. "Yeah… but still… I probably should say something, but…"

Morgana puts a paw on her knee. "Ryuji's an understanding guy, even if he's got a thick skull. You should talk to him."

"You're right…"

"No buts."

"I said you're right!"

Morgana turns with a smug grin. "All right, now go!"

Ren gives a deep breath and stands. "You're right, I can do this."

"Hell yeah! You've got this, Ren!"

Ren smiles at Morgana and grabs her keys. "Don't wait up, Morgana."

"I'm a cat, Ren. I was gonna fall asleep regardless."

Ren laughs and walks out.

A few minutes later and she sees Ryuji as she walks through the diner. "Eyyyy, Ren! I managed to corner Mishima on my way here, hope that's cool?"

Ren stops and swears under her breath.  _ Knew I was forgetting someone. _

Mishima headtilts at Ryuji. "Who's Ren?"

Ryuji blinks. "...Oh. Oh fuck, you never. Shit, dude, I didn't think about it."

Ren winces. "I-it's cool, Ryuji. It needed to happen sooner or later." She takes a seat next to Ryuji and waves at Mishima.

Mishima grins at Ryuji. "You never told me you got a girlfriend, player~"

Ren facepalms. "Do you not recognize me, Mishima?"

Mishima narrows his eyes for a moment. "You do look familiar, did we go to Shujin together?"

Ren sighs. "Still the same Mishima as always. It's not like you didn't spend three years doing a documentary on us or anything."

Mishima stammers. "A-Akira?!? Or wait, Ren? I'm confused…"

Ryuji rolls his eyes. "Dude, it's 2021, get with the times."

Ren buries her face in her hands. "Mishima, I'm trans."

Mishima blinks. "I knew that. Right. Obviously." He leans over to Ryuji. "What's trans?"

Ryuji looks at him like an idiot. "F'real? You don't even know that much? I knew that! But uh, Ren, probably best you explain?"

Ren shakes her head. "Helpful as always, Ryuji. So, um, basically, I'm a girl."

Mishima blinks again. "You sure did fool us in high school, I never woulda guessed you were a girl this whole time. So like, you were pretending to be a guy because of the whole-"

Ren cuts him off. "No, you're not getting it. I'm a transwoman. In high school, I wasn't out yet, so I hadn't started transitioning."

Mishima shakes his head. "...Yeah, still lost."

Ren groans. "Were you always this clueless? You seemed so much more on top of things running the website."

Mishima rubs the back of his neck. "H-hey, there's no need for that…"

Ren sighs. "Sorry, that was mean. So, let's go real elementary I guess. So, as a baby, the doctors told my parents I was a boy, right?"

Mishima nods.

"Ok, well, that's technically biologically accurate, but I'm not a guy. Like, I dunno, spiritually? Emotionally? I'm a girl, always have been. Parts just got mixed up."

Mishima blinks. "I… think I get it? Right. Right! Ok! So you're going by Ren, now?"

Ren sighs and nods. "Yeah, yeah I am."

"So uh, do you like guys now? Cause uh-"

Ren glares at him.

Mishima gulps. "U-understood, ma'am."

"Good. ANYWAY, have either of you seen the waitress?"

Ryuji pumps his fist in the air. "Hell yeah, I'm starving!"

Eventually, they all stagger out, full, and wave goodbye to Mishima. Ryuji rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry, pal, I didn't realize-"

Ren snaps at Ryuji. "Can you stop with that?"

Ryuji blinks. "Stop what?"

"This pal, dude, buddy, stuff. It's really starting to get under my skin."

Ryuji puts up his hands. "Hey, sorry, p- Um, sorry… What uh, what should I say?"

Ren sighs. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. But uh, yeah, all that's just a little too… masculine for me. Just… just call me Ren, please…"

"Hey, no problems, Ren-chan! ...Better?"

Ren nods and smiles. "Better. Still weird, but better. Now, as for what to do about Mishima."

Ryuji grins. "Do you want me to kill him? I will. No one hits on my best friend like that."

Ren laughs. "It's not that serious, Ryuji. I… do appreciate it though. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have come out to him if it wasn't for that. I… never did really like the guy much."

Ryuji shrugs. "He's harmless. But I can see where you're coming from. Something seems to be eating you, though, what's up?"

Ren sighs. "So, uh, you know I took that new job tonight, right?"

Ryuji blushes and tries to push it out of his head. "Y-yeah. Listen, uh, I'm sorry about Operation Maidwatch-"

Ren shakes her head. "No, no, that's not the problem. Well, I mean, it is kinda. But so you know how we found out about Kawakami-Sensei through that mess?"

Ryuji grins. "Oh yeah! That was funny!"

Ren blushes. "You'll never guess who my first customer was."

Ryuji blinks. "F'real? You're shitting me."

Ren shakes her head. "I wish I was. All things considered, it was pretty funny, if incredibly awkward. But I definitely needed to talk to someone about it. Especially, um, after she asked about Makoto."

Ryuji sours, hearing about Makoto. "Listen, if you need to talk about that, you know I'm all ears. I'm still not positive what happened between you two, but…"

Ren sighs. "Yeah, I think it's time to talk about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, I'm really enjoying writing this particular AU so far, and I'm happy people are enjoying it so far~ I cannot guarantee my current levels of productivity are going to hold, but I'm gonna try to crank out a few more chapters soon. Maybe once I've gotten past the Establishing Stuff, I'll probably slow down to plot things out more, but I'm really enjoying the characters so far. Feel free to let me know what you think so far! Next chapter should be more Kawakami, I'm planning on going back and forth.


	3. Intercurriculars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kawakami meets up with Ryuji the next day. Shenanigans and Beef Bowls ensue.

Sadayo mills about in the faculty office, waiting for her next class to start. 

Ryuji comes in, stretching, before noticing Sadayo and grinning. "Hey, there, Kawakami-Sensei, heard you had an interesting night last night."

Sadayo turns bright red and chokes on her coffee. "W-what do you mean by that, Sakamoto? And you know you don't still have to call me Sensei... "

"Ran into a mutual friend of ours, she told me the scoop. What are the odds, huh?" Ryuji grins from ear to ear, while Sadayo buries her face on the desk. 

"Listen, I'd rather just forget about it, so unless you're planning on ratting me out to the principal-"

Ryuji laughs. "Nah, why would I do that? That's a dick move. We're just having a conversation." 

Sadayo reflects on this.  _ Sakamoto is a lot of things, but ingenuine isn't one of them. Beats out the last couple of gym teachers we've had. Especially…  _ She shivers, thinking about that bastard Kamoshida. 

Ryuji sips from his thermos. Sadayo keeps meaning to ask what he's drinking, he never seemed like the coffee type, but figured it would be rude. "Anyway, teach, just figured I'd say hey. You doing all right? You've been seeming out of it lately."

Sadayo sighs. "Yeah, it's just-"  _ Am I really going back to those excuses again?  _ "...I'm in a rut, Sakamoto. You ever get like that?"

Ryuji thinks for a moment and nods solemnly. "I getcha. It's been a little weird for me too, since everyone else got out of university. Half the usual group's anywhere but here, and the other half are shut ins, it feels like. I get bored these days. Wanna grab a bite to eat sometime after classes? My treat. Figure we should act like colleagues for once, instead of former teacher and student."

Sadayo sighs and smiles. "I think I'd like that. I need to get out once in a while. Don't you have a class to get to, though?"

Ryuji chokes on his drink and looks at the time. "Crap, you're right! Talk to you later, Kawakami!"

He sprints off to the gym. Sadayo leans back in her chair, trying to avoid grading papers in her free period. She thinks about Sakamoto.  _ Of all the students in that class to hire, neither of us would have expected me to put his name forward. I don't think I regret it. _

After work, Ryuji runs up behind Sadayo and pats her on the back, having changed out of his tracksuit into casual clothes more reminiscent of his younger days. "So, what are you feeling? I know this killer beef bowl place in Shibuya."

Sadayo jumps at Ryuji emerging behind her. "Y-you meant tonight?"

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck. "I mean, unless you had plans already. I'm pretty flexible."

Sadayo thinks for a bit and shrugs. "You know, whatever. Yeah. Beef Bowl. Sure."

Ryuji pumps his fist and grins. "Score! Ready to go, then?"

Sadayo nods. "Ready as I'll ever be, Sakamoto."

They catch the train down to Shibuya and place their orders at the Beef Bowl shop. "So, teach, I've been meaning to ask. Why did you recommend me of all people?" Ryuji slurps down a large bowl.

Sadayo looks over, mildly concerned. "Right now, I'm questioning that myself."

Ryuji laughs heartily, before starting to choke on noodles. "Hell, don't do that to me, teach! But no, seriously, why? I'm curious."

Sadayo mulls it over. "Do you think it was a mistake?"

"Huh? No, I wouldn't say that. I just know, you know, I wasn't the greatest student. And let's just say, I've had problems with gym teachers in the past, you know."

Sadayo sighs. "Yeah, I know. Sorry we couldn't have been more help." She sips on broth and stews.  _ I'm sorry I was a bit of a bitch toward you in general around then.  _ "But you want my honest answer?"

Ryuji nods, on the edge of his seat.

"You know your stuff, Sakamoto. Even before university, I saw you helping out the other students, finding diet and exercise plans for them. That's why I recommended you go to school, make it a career."

Ryuji beams. "You know, it's been a long time since I've heard that, teach. It means a lot, you know?"

Sadayo nods. "I forget sometimes, but students really need someone to believe in them . And for what it's worth, I think you're doing a fantastic job."

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck and grins sheepishly. "Hey, just trying to do my job, ya know?"

"And you do it well. The track team in particular loves you."

Ryuji blushes. "Aww, shucks. I'm just trying to give kids what I couldn't have, ya know?"

Sadayo smiles. "I can understand that. But enough about that. You called me here for more than that, didn't you?"

Ryuji sighs. "You can always read me like a book, can't you, teach?"

Sadayo shrugs. "You get good at it after a while. It'll come in time to you as well, Sakamoto."

Ryuji laughs. "Yeah, I suppose. But yeah, no, seriously, are you ok? I figured you didn't wanna talk about things at school."

Sadayo sighs deeply, thinking. "It's just… been a weird few years since… well, that year. Quiet. It was nice, at first. But now I'm just…"

"Bored?"

"Yeah… Not that I want all that nonsense back, of course."

Ryuji leans back. "Yeah, no that makes total sense. Like I said, it's been weird without the gang around for me, too."

Sadayo sighs. "How is everyone, anyway? I uh, heard about Miss Nijima."

Ryuji winces. "I don't think you heard the full story there."

She shakes her head. "I didn't want to pry. Honestly, I shouldn't even be asking you."

Ryuji shrugs. "I only just heard the full story myself last night. Let's just say Ren and Makoto had some, how did she put it… irreconcilable differences after university."

Sadayo nods. "Fair enough… What about the rest of them? Okumura-san, Takamaki-san?"

Ryuji grins. "Ann and Shiho just got married! They're out of the country, in Korea right now." He shows Sadayo a pic of them on their honeymoon. "I got to be the best man~" He sniffs. "It was a nice wedding."

Sadayo laughs softly. "I never would have taken you for the sentimental type. Shiho, she looks familiar." She thinks for a moment. "...Oh, she was that poor girl-"

Ryuji darkens. "Yeah. She's doing a lot better now."

Sadayo nods solemnly. "Well, that's good. I'm glad to hear the two of them are happy. What about Okumura-san?"

Ryuji rocks back. "She's real busy these days. She sold her stake in her father's company to start up that cafe she was hoping to make. She seems to be happy, though."

Sadayo smiles. "Oh good. She was always such a sweet girl. I'm glad to hear she bounced back from… that unfortunate incident that year."

Ryuji nods. "Yeah… And well, you know what Ren's been up to…"

Sadayo sighs. "Really, though… She can do so much better than that."

Ryuji shrugs. "She's bounced through a lot of jobs during and after university. She interned for that politician friend of hers for a while, but then well…"

Sadayo leans back. "That bad, huh?"

Ryuji grits his teeth. "It's really bullshit, you know? She's a great person, but people keep treating her like she's shit, even after getting her record cleared. And then, coming out, too... She just can't win, you know?"

Sadayo nods. "Yeah… She's really had a hard time of it, hasn't she?"

Ryuji grins. "But hey, she always pulls through! That's why she's the leader~"

Sadayo smiles. "She always did seem like the resourceful type. You know, I wish I could have helped more…"

Ryuji shrugs. "We probably wouldn't have taken your help if you could. No offense, obviously. But I mean, the staff of Shujin wasn't exactly… great to us, you know?"

"Yeah… Especially to you two. I do want to apologize again."

Ryuji beams at Sadayo, patting her on the back. "It's all water under the bridge, teach. Things have been looking up lately. No reason to dwell on the past, am I right?"

Sadayo sighs and looks up at Ryuji. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. You know, I think we needed this, Sakamoto."

"Teach, you can call me Ryuji, we're friends now, right?" He grins. 

"...Let's just stick with colleagues for now, Sakamoto. But… You're not half bad, these days."

He laughs and stands. "I'll take what I can get I guess. See you at school tomorrow?"

She nods. "See you at school. And… Can I ask a weird favor?"

Ryuji blinks. "Yeah, what's up?"

"...Do you have Ren's number?"

Ryuji furrows his brow. "Why do-" Dawning realization crosses his face and he grins wildly. "Yeah, I do. But I don't think that's a good idea. She uh, changed it recently, and isn't trying to give it away. I can give her yours though, if you like!"

Sadayo sighs. "...Yeah, I suppose." She tells him and grabs her purse as he punches it in. 

"Do you want me to tell her anything when I send this~?"

Sadayo blushes. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sakamoto, I just worry about her!"

"Sure, 'Worry about her'~ Don't worry, Kawakami, your secret's safe with me~"

Sadayo glares at Ryuji. "What secret?"

Ryuji grins and walks out. "If you don't know, maybe I shouldn't say~"

Sadayo throws up her hands. "I change my mind, you're still insufferable, Sakamoto!"

Ryuji gives her a thumbs up as he leaves.

Sadayo sits down and buries her face in her hands.  _ Why did I think this was a good idea again?  _ She looks at the time.  _ It's still early… I need a drink. _

Back then, Ren told her about the bar she worked at.  _ Crossroads, she said…  _ She mentioned it was a… particular type of bar.  _ Maybe I can get some advice.  _

She steps in, and sees… not who she was expecting. A solitary woman, about her age, sits at the bar, nursing what appears to be water. "Hey, Lala, you got a customer!"

An older, somewhat heavyset woman steps from the back.  _ That must be Lala,  _ Sadayo surmises.  _ I suppose she's closer to what I was expecting,  _ she thinks, before mentally kicking herself. "Um, hi."

Lala beckons her to the bar. "You're a new face, doll. Call me Lala. And your name?"

"Um, Sadayo. This place was recommended by a friend of mine. I wasn't sure what to expect coming in here, to be honest."

Lala smiles. "Well, I'm always happy to see a new customer. What'll you have?"

Sadayo sighs. "Whiskey."

The woman at the bar grins at her. "I like to see another woman who knows what she likes. Name's Ohya. Ichiko Ohya. I'm a regular. LALA REFUSES TO SERVE ME THOUGH."

Lala rolls her eyes. "You're lucky I didn't ban you. This isn't a healthy place for you right now, and you know it."

Ohya sighs. "...I know. I was about to leave, I just needed… a sense of normalcy right now."

Sadayo sips her whiskey and blinks. "What's wrong?"

Ohya shrugs. "I just made it to a year sober."

Sadayo blinks more. "...What the hell are you doing in a bar if you're trying to stay sober?"

Ohya sighs. "Ever since one of my contacts left for school, Lala here's kinda my only friend."

Sadayo raises an eyebrow. "Contact?"

"Yeah, I'm a journalist! You haven't heard of me?"

Sadayo shakes her head. "Can't say I have. Don't read papers that much these days."

Ohya sighs. "Yeah, you and everyone else. Welp, Lala, put her drink on my tab, I'm feeling charitable today."

Sadayo blinks. "You don't have to do that."

"Have to? Nah, want to. You seem nice enough. Anyway, I gotta get going. Like Lala said, this is… probably not the best place for me right now. I just needed to talk for a bit. See ya around, maybe."

She turns and leaves, leaving Lala and Sadayo alone. "So, what brings a pretty little face like you out this way? You're not exactly my usual clientele."

Sadayo swirls her drink around. "Like I said, I was recommended. That was a couple years ago though, and I never got around to coming."

Lala polishes a glass. "Who recommended you?"

Sadayo bites her lip. "I'm not sure I should say."

Lala looks at her. "Oh? That's interesting. No one I've banned, I assume, I'd hate to throw out such a nice lady."

Sadayo shakes her head. "No, I don't think so anyway. Um, this person used to work here, part time." 

Lala thinks for a moment. "There's been a lot of part-timers."

Sadayo sighs. "Tall, thin, glasses, shaggy black hair?"

Lala grins. "Cute as a button, really quiet?"

Sadayo nods. "That's the one."

Lala laughs. "Ren's a real sweetheart, ain't she?"

Sadayo sighs. "Oh, good, you know, then. She uh, well."

Lala nods. "Yeah, I know. She came by last night, actually. Not a bit surprised, to be honest. I always do have an eye for them, you know. You seem uncomfortable, though."

She sighs, before sipping her drink again. "Yeah… I mean, I'm not uncomfortable with her, per se… But like…" She buries her face in her arms. "It was a shock, you know?"

Lala shrugs. "First time, dear?"

Sadayo nods. "I mean, a few of my students have come out, but like, this is the first time someone I like, knew... Ya know?"

Lala pats Sadayo's shoulder. "For what it's worth, you're doing a great job. Better than most."

Sadayo sighs. "So I keep hearing. That sucks, right?"

Lala leans back pensively. "Yeah. It does. But we make it through."

Sadayo nods. "...But see, I've also been having these weird thoughts…"

Lala laughs. "Yeah, that can happen."

Sadayo raises her glass. "It's not my fault when she comes to my apartment in a maid outfit, right? Like, it's natural to be a little confused when that happens right?"

Lala fills her glass and raises an eyebrow. "Well, that's an interesting turn of events. What are you doing hiring a maid and being confused about these thoughts?"

Sadayo blinks. "I uh, did it as a bit of a joke. Bit of a trip down memory lane. Moonlighted as one for a bit myself."

Lala shrugs. "Uh-huh, and I'm the prime minister of Japan. Listen hon, you seem like a sweet girl, but you're overthinking things."

Sadayo sips her drink more. "You're probably right… But how the hell do I broach this? It's bad enough she's a girl, but like, she's also a former student of mine? How do I explain that to the rest of the staff?"

Lala winces. "Hmm, that is a pickle. But you seem like a smart girl. I believe in you."

Sadayo sighs and finishes her drink. "...I'm gonna head on home. Thank you Lala-chan."

Lala grins at Sadayo. "Anytime. Hope to see you again, dear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks again for sticking with me~ I'm really enjoying writing this so far! Once again, I'm not sure how long I can keep up this kind of extreme pace, but I'm cranking out what I can as I have ideas. I'm trying to avoid getting burnout, so I'm trying to pace myself, but there's just so much I wanna write! I did just start up P5 Royal, though. I'm debating whether I want to include any of the new content from there in this story, though I'm leaning toward no, as much as Kasumi is a sweetheart and precious. I'm hoping having two hyperfixations will help me avoid burnout on both of them as quickly. :P Anyway! Comments as always are appreciated, and feel free to let me know if you think I should include Royal content. Next chapter, Ren talks to Sojiro~


	4. Lunch Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren goes to see Sojiro. Shenanigans ensue.

Ren steels herself for the day's trials. "No time like the present, eh, Morgana?"

Morgana grins up at her. "That's the spirit, Ren! You've got this! Ooh, bring me some of Boss's curry, won't you?"

Ren pets Morgana's head. "I'll see what I can do, pal." She grabs her bag and walks out the door. Futaba ambushes her outside the apartment building. "Ack! Hey there, Futaba."

Futaba smiles up at Ren. "Hey, big sis~ Ready to go?"

Ren stretches her neck out. "Ready as I'm gonna be."

"You know it's gonna be fine, right? Sojiro's chill. Chilled out a lot these past few years, really."

Ren sighs. "I know. It's still hard, though…"

Futaba grins. "Well, don't worry. I called ahead and let Sojiro know to prep you a special surprise~"

Ren raises an eyebrow and smiles down at her. "You didn't."

Futaba gives a mischievous grin and shrugs. "Let's just hurry, you know how he is about his curry."

Ren nods. "Yeah, I want to get back so I can take a nap before my shift anyway."

Futaba sighs. "How's that going, by the way? I worry about you."

Ren stretches out. "So far… so good… No one's been antagonistic yet, though a few have been a bit… handsy."

Futaba nods. "As to be expected. You know we've all got your back, right?"

"Yeah… Thanks, Futaba." After a while, they end up in Yongen-Jaya, and walk down to Leblanc. 

"Sojiro~ I'm hoooooome~" Futaba spins as she walks in the store, Ren slouching to not draw attention to herself, hiding herself behind large sunglasses. "And I brought company~!"

Sojiro raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Not often Futaba brings over a friend. What can I get you?"

Ren clears her throat. "Um-"

Futaba grins. "I got this. You like the Guatamalan House Blend, one sugar, one cream, SHB, right? And that special curry we asked for~"

Ren nods. "Yeah, that's perfect."

Sojiro raises an eyebrow and grins. "Sounds like a young lady that knows her coffee. You know, I used to have a part-timer who liked that same order... "

Ren takes off her sunglasses. "Part-timer, eh, Boss? Still can't call me family?"

Sojiro sputters, spilling the coffee all over himself. "What the hell? Akira?"

Ren sighs. "So, there's a reason I haven't come home in a while, Sojiro… Um… I'm going by Ren, these days, by the by… I'm uh, I'm trans, Sojiro."

Sojiro cleans himself up and nods. "I see. Let's try this again, then, shall we? I'm Sojiro Sakura, the owner of Leblanc, and you are?"

Ren giggles slightly. "Serious as ever, Boss. Ren Amamiya." She offers her hand to Sojiro. "Charmed, I'm sure."

Sojiro takes it and grins. "You're a long way from that punk I took in 6 years ago, you know?"

Ren flips her hair back. "And you're a ways away from the old man who took me in. You know what this means, though, right?"

Sojiro blinks. "What?"

Ren grins. "You have no excuse to not put my number in your phone anymore."

Futaba groans. "You still never did that, old man? What kind of dad are you?"

Sojiro groans as well. "Listen, he- Sorry, she's not my daughter."

Futaba shrugs. "Neither am I, Sojiro!" She bats at him with her sleeves. "You put Yusuke's number in your phone, right? He's not even family!"

Sojiro blinks. "So you didn't elope then? God, I can never understand that kid."

Futaba and Ren both stand and yell in unison. "ELOPE?!?"

Futaba buries her face in her sleeves. "I'm going to murder that dumb Inari."

Ren pulls out a knife from her bag. "Only if you beat me to him."

As if on cue, the bell rings. "Ah, welcome to Leblanc-" Sojiro's eyes widen and he shakes his head. "Run, kid."

Yusuke blinks and looks at the pair of women at the bar. "Ah, the lovely Sakura family… I see uh, there's been a misunderstanding."

Ren hurls her knife at Yusuke. "ELOPING WITH MY SISTER, YUSUKE? THE HELL, MAN?"

Sojiro smacks Ren upside the head. "Careful! You could break the glass in the door!"

Yusuke dodges deftly, only to have the knife embed into his robe sleeve, pinning him to the wall. "L-listen, girls, this is all a misunderstanding!"

Futaba walks over calmly and smiles, a face devoid of compassion. "Of course it is, Inari. Start explaining, then, won't you?"

He looks over at Sojiro, who only shakes his head. "You did this to yourself, kid. Don't look at me."

Yusuke clears his throat. "Y-you see, I was merely talking about the possibility in the future, talking about grand ideas of whirlwind romance!"

Futaba smiles bigger, before pulling Yusuke's face down to hers, by his newly grown goatee. "Listen here, Yusuke. You make enough money doing your street artist stuff, and you know how much I make. We're having a wedding, if we get married at all, you hear? My father will be there, and so will Ren."

Yusuke stammers and nods. "O-of course, dear! C-can you let go, Futaba? That hurts…"

She tosses him back, causing him to hit his head on the wall, dislodging the knife and knocking it to the ground. "Ow…"

Ren applauds Futaba. "Bravo, little sis." Yusuke sits down next to Ren, scared to sit down next to Futaba. "Oh no, don't think I'm gonna save you. What's with that goatee, anyway?"

"RIGHT? Sojiro, tell Inari to shave it! He looks like an old man!"

Ren rolls her eyes. "Wait, was this what you were so mad at him about, Futaba?"

Futaba crosses her arms. "No… Well, not entirely. I'm not a child, Ren."

Yusuke sighs. "I apologized about that incident."

Futaba puts her hands on her hips. "Yusuke refuses to admit that digital animation is a valid art style!"

Yusuke shakes his head. "I didn't say that, I merely implied that it was less valid than traditional."

"Is not!"

Sojiro puts down the carafe of coffee on the counter. "Futaba, if you're going to argue, take it outside. This is still a restaurant. And young man, let me give you some advice. Arguing with her is a losing battle. I would advise against it."

Yusuke nods and sighs. "Wise as ever, Boss…"

Sojiro nods. "Smart kid. Now as for YOU." He looks at Ren. "You know better. If I EVER catch you throwing anything in my store again, I'll throw you out in a heartbeat. Even if you are my kid."

Ren holds a hand to her chest in mock surprise. "Finally he calls me his kid. Truly I have been blessed by the great Sojiro Sakura."

Sojiro groans and shakes his head. "You and Futaba are going to be the death of me one day, you know it?"

Futaba and Ren both grin at him and laugh. "You know you love us, Sojiro~"

Ren and Yusuke leave Leblanc after a while. Ren tucks away a container of curry for Morgana as they walk. "So, you and Futaba have been dating for a decent while now, eh?"

Yusuke sighs. "I don't know what we've been doing, to tell you the truth. I keep thinking we're dating, and then I stick my foot in my mouth and it seems like we're back to squabbling children. Any tips, from the, well, female perspective, Ren?"

Ren shrugs. "I don't think you need a female perspective, Yusuke, you're still just bad with people in general. Granted, she is too. Honestly, you two are perfect for each other."

Yusuke sighs and looks off dreamily. "Maybe if I made a portrait of her. I've got a sketch I'd like to show you."

Ren headtilts. "Sure, shoot."

He shows her a sketchbook, in which he's sketched out a rough sketch of Futaba, standing nude in a clamshell, with odd squidlike hair, surrounded by lobsters.

Ren blinks. "It's… interesting, that's for sure. Maybe save that for the wedding...?"

Yusuke facepalms. "But of course! You're right, as always, Ren. But enough about us, how have you been reacclimating to the city?"

Ren shrugs. "Tokyo's as big as always. But I missed the noise, not going to lie. And I missed you all, not sure why though."

Yusuke places a hand to his chest. "Ren, you wound me. Truly, your disappointment is like the coldest blizzard-"

Ren holds up a hand. "I'm gonna stop you there, Yusuke. It was a joke."

Yusuke nods. "Of course… You're still not easy to read, you know..."

Ren sighs. "I've been told…"

They stop walking as they reach Ren's other stop for the afternoon, Takemi's Clinic. "I need to stop in to pick up my, um, medication, I'll be just a minute."

Yusuke nods. "Of course. I'll wait out here, if you so desire. Yongen-Jaya always has such a rustic atmosphere… I enjoy looking for inspiration here anyway."

Ren groans. "Why are you so weird, Yusuke?"

Yusuke blinks. "I keep getting that question so often… It never makes more sense to me…"

Ren steps into the clinic, prepared for the wave of death metal. She's surprised it never comes. "Hey, Doc? You here?" A sign on the desk reads: "Be back shortly."

She sighs and sits down, playing with her hair. Tae Takemi steps out from the back, and clears her throat. "Oh, Ren, I wasn't expecting you." She looks at her calendar. "You still have a week or so on your prescription, right?"

Ren nods. "Yeah, but I've got a busy schedule the next few days. You can help me out a couple days early right?"

Takemi sighs. "I suppose I can. You're still more trouble than you're worth, you know?"

Ren grins. "Love you too, Doc. How's Iwai?"

Takemi groans. "The man is insufferable, I hate you so much."

Ren laughs. "You two are perfect for each other, I swear."

Takemi glares at her. "Can't you stay out of people's business?"

Ren shrugs. "You say that like I've ever been able to. How long have I been your guinea pig?"

Takemi sighs. "Too long, I'd say."

She hands Ren her bottle of pills. "No new side effects, right?"

Ren shakes her head. "Just the ones we want. Thanks Doc, see you next month."

Takemi groans. "Get out of here, kid."

"Say hi to Iwai for me~~"


	5. After-School Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadayo calls Ren over again. Things get heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this chapter's a bit heavier than the ones up until now, which is why it's also a little shorter. I'm totally not using this fic and the mechanics of Persona to cope with my own self-worth and anxiety, nooooooo.

Another exhausting day at work later, Sadayo comes home and flops on the couch. She debates her options.  Sadayo sighs. "I deserve this, don't I? This is what I get for extorting a highschooler out of thousands of yen. Utter mortification." Her finger hovers over the dial button. 

"Thank you for calling Victoria's Housecleaning~ Do you have a preference who we send?"

Sadayo grimaces. "Yeah, send me Becky?"

"All right, she'll be there in 20 minutes~ Thank you for calling~"

Sadayo sighs and hangs up. "This is a terrible idea, right? I shouldn't be hiring someone just so I can talk to her, right?"

She tidies up slightly. "It's only fair to make her not have to work quite so hard. I asked her to do the same for me…" She startles as the doorbell rings. "...Shit, I need to stop looking so jumpy when she comes."

The door opens, as Ren pokes her head in. "Evening, Mistress~" She comes in and curtsies, before smirking at Sadayo. "Provided such wonderful service, you just had to call me back, didn't I Mistress~?"

Sadayo glares at Ren. "You know, you're a tricky woman to get a hold of, for being a maid."

Ren rubs her neck nervously. "Yeah, Ryuji said you were trying to catch me."

Sadayo nods. "Sakamoto mentioned you changed your number recently. Any particular reason why?"

Ren bites her lip. "You've heard I've had a lot of jobs lately, right?"

Sadayo nods again. "Yeah... "

Ren sighs. "My last job, I worked at a Maid Cafe. There was a... Particular patron. I um, carry a knife around for a reason, now. But at the time, I didn't. This was one of the first jobs I had where I was presenting Femme full time… This patron hit on me a bunch. You know, used to that, it's a maid cafe. It's my job to be conventionally attractive and butter up customers who feel lonely and want to flirt. But this guy was something else. And one day he found out my number and address from one of the other girls. And well, found out some stuff that he shouldn't have known. He confronts me, and asks me to do… things, unless I want people to find about it. The next day, I'm out of a job, management takes the side of the guy, swears up and down a mountain of lies, from me blowing customers in the back to me trying to solicit him. On top of him outing me to the staff. I can't show my face in Akihabara to this day. As far as I know, that other girl still has her job, too." 

Sadayo blinks. "...Damn… You can't seem to catch a break, can you?"

Ren shakes her head. "So it goes."

Sadayo grins. "You know, I bet that guy wouldn't have bothered messing with you, if he knew you were-"

Ren glares at Sadayo. "I'm not a Phantom Thief. Not anymore. None of us are." She slumps. "No one can be, ever again. I'm just… a normal girl. That's all I want to be. That's all I ever wanted. But there was just… so much to do. And no one else could do it."

Sadayo sighs. "You don't seem happy about being normal, despite your protests."

Ren shakes her head. "I'm not… I… I didn't ask to be special. But… I'm also not happy it's over…"

Sadayo shrugs. "There's still a lot of things you can do to help people. Become a doctor, or a p-"

Ren clenches her fists. "If you're about to say a police officer, I would rethink that."

Sadayo blinks and holds up her hands. "Whoa, down girl."

Ren sighs. "I'm sorry… I… have a lot of negative baggage with the police. As you might imagine. Even putting aside what got me sent to Shujin. I'm just tired of everyone claiming the police are these bastions of justice, where were they when I was being stalked? Where were they when the kids at Shujin were being abused? Where were they when Yusuke was being starved and exploited? Instead they come after my adoptive father for taking the best damn care he knew how for my little sister? And for what, for information on the mental shutdowns? He didn't even know what was going on! They threw me in juvie for helping a young woman! The police don't help anyone but the powerful."

Sadayo looks a little shaken. Ren blinks. "...I should probably go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw all this heavy stuff on you."

Sadayo shakes her head and gestures for Ren to sit down. "No, please, stay. You've… had a time and half of it. You need a therapist, you know?"

Ren nods. "I do… I know I do… But there's so much the public still doesn't know about the Phantom Thief stuff, how would I even begin talking about this stuff to one?"

Sadayo looks at Ren. "I'm just talking about the stuff outside of that. I still don't get all of the things you did as Phantom Thieves, even though I know it was awful. But at least you had friends through that. I'm talking about the stuff you were alone for…"

Ren sighs. "You're right... I know…"

Sadayo rubs Ren's back gently. "You're stronger than you realize. But you can't be strong all the time, either. You need to know when to admit you can't handle things."

Ren buries her face in her hands. "I know… Fuck, listen to me whine about my problems on the clock. I'm no better than you were." She grins at Sadayo.

Sadayo glares at Ren. "Joking this off isn't productive, and you know it, Ren. You need to confront this in a healthy environment."

Ren sighs and slumps down further. "I know, I know... It's harder than you think, though…"

Sadayo nods. "I get that. But that's no excuse. The Ren I knew didn't give up because things were hard."

Ren blinks. "The Ren you knew was trying to keep her head above water, all the time. The Ren you knew was an anxious girl masquerading as a debonair man of mystery. I didn't ask to be a leader. But who else was gonna lead us? Ryuji? I love the guy to pieces, but hell no. Ann? She can't act to save her life. Sure as hell wasn't gonna let my cat lead us. I didn't have a choice but to be perfect, all the time, all the time. There was never enough time to talk to everyone, do everything I needed to do, make enough money to do what needed to be done. I felt like I had to plot my life a month in advance just to ensure there was enough time to finish everything. And only 7 months to do everything. After that, the world could come crumbling down, for all I knew. Do you know how stressful that is? Even now, I feel like I can only move if I've planned for it. Do you know the last time I did something for fun without thinking: 'Do I need to do this? Can I afford this time off? Will this make me smarter? Kinder? Will it make someone like me more? If not, is it even worth doing?'" Ren realizes suddenly that she's crying. "...I'm crying. I didn't mean to let you see me like this… I'm sorry…"

Sadayo finds herself wrapping Ren in a hug. "Ren. You need to see someone. This isn't healthy, and you know it."

"...I know it…"

"You don't need to do things because you're getting something out of it, you're allowed to relax."

Ren's eyes go a little starry-eyed for a minute. Sadayo waves her hand in front of Ren's face. "You're doing it again, Ren. You're stuck in your head."

Ren sighs. "I'm sorry… Here I've just wasted the entire hour you paid good money for. Money you probably worked 3 times as hard for, just to console me."

Sadayo grabs Ren's hands. "I want you to look at me."

She complies, before Sadayo continues. "I want you, on your next day off, to look for a therapist. Then, I want you to call me when you find one. I'm worried about you, Ren. But you're gonna get through this. You're a strong girl."

Ren's lip quivers. "Thank you... " She pulls out her phone and exchanges contact info with Sadayo. "...Would you like to get some food or something, some time?"

Sadayo nods and smiles. "I would like that a lot. You know the school schedule, obviously. Hit me up anytime after school."

Ren nods. "Ok… Hey, Sadayo…?"

She looks over. "Yeah, Ren?"

"...I appreciate everything you've done for me, you know that? You've helped me more than you know."

Sadayo grins. "I know, I did enough of your laundry."

Ren gives a humorless laugh back. "Yeah. Yeah you did. Listen… I should be going."

Sadayo bites her lip, cursing herself for a tactless joke. "Ren…"

She shakes her head. "Seriously, thank you. I needed this. But I really do have to go. I have two more customers I need to hit tonight…"

She walks out the door, and Sadayo slumps. "...That girl worries me…"


	6. Moment of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren confronts her lingering anxieties, resolving some loose ends.

After a long night's work, Ren finally closes her eyes for a restless night's sleep. Only to be greeted by a familiar song and piano. She opens her eyes to find… the cell. The cell. This Fucking Cell. She begins to hyperventilate as she bolts upright, looking at her prisoner's garb. Ren's hands tremble as she looks at the closed door in front of her, staring at the saddened face of Lavenza as she wordlessly pleads with her. 

"...Welcome, Trickster, back to the Velvet Room."

"I-I'm not the Trickster! Not anymore!" Ren's hands clench, her body shaking with fear and anger. "We did it! That's over! I DON'T NEED TO BE HERE ANYMORE!"

Igor clears his throat behind Lavenza. "If I may, Lavenza."

Lavenza nods and curtsies before stepping aside. Igor sighs and continues. "...It seems you are having a new crisis in the real world. You appear to still be a prisoner of fate, dear guest."

Ren buries her face in her hands as she sobs quietly. "...i didn't ask for this, igor."

Igor nods. "I… I know. And for that, I am sorry. What the God of Control-"

Ren points at Igor angrily. "What IT did? You're the one who chose me for this game of yours! Just because you weren't the one to rig it doesn't make you innocent!" She slumps down as Lavenza looks away. "...I'm sorry. I just… I'm tired. I wanted to leave this behind me. We did it, we saved the world. I just wanted to help my friends, but I couldn't stop, now could I? I had WORK to do! And then, just as soon as it started, it was over. No deescalation, just… killing a god and then what? I'm left to pick up the pieces? I just…" She leans back on the bed. "...It's not easy being a teenager. It's really not easy being a teenager who's also some mythical chosen one."

Lavenza looks at Ren. "...Do you still have that key? The one I gave you when you left Tokyo?"

Ren blinks. "Yeah… I do."

Lavenza nods. "Why don't you come out here, and we can have a better talk?"

Ren nods and looks for it. As always, it's tied around her neck on a string. She unlocks the cell door and lets it swing open.

Lavenza sighs. "...I didn't fulfill my promise of watching over you. I'm sorry, honored guest."

Ren shakes her head. "Please, call me Ren. I'm not… I'm not an honored guest, I'm not a Trickster. I'm Ren. I may not know anything else about me, but I know that much."

Lavenza nods. "...Very well, Ren."

Ren looks at Igor. "That goes for you too. Please."

Igor looks at her and grins his big toothy grin. "As you wish, Miss Ren."

Ren sighs and relaxes. "Thank you." Her prisoner garb suddenly burns with a flash of blue fire, a familiar experience, as it gives way to her normal clothes. "...No Joker costume? "

Igor steeples his fingers. "This is the form your rebellion takes now, Miss Ren. Just being yourself is rebellion enough, is it not?"

Ren sighs. "It shouldn't have to be. I shouldn't have to be making a statement just to be me…"

Lavenza smiles sadly at Ren. "No, but unfortunately, that's what it takes sometimes. And that's ok."

Ren shakes her head. "Well, no matter. I… actually did want to see you both, despite my earlier… spiral."

Lavenza headtilts and looks at her. "Oh?"

Ren steels herself and prepares to ask a hard question. "Everyone else… Everyone else had a Persona that was… them. Sure they got new Personas as they became different people, but they were still them. Even… him. Robin Hood and Loki were both him. Just different aspects. But… I had so many Personas. Is Irene supposed to be me? Or is Pixie? Or Shiva? Fucking Legion? I've been thinking about this for a while. What does it mean to have so many masks? Is there even such a thing as a real me?"

Lavenza frowns and contemplates this. "Well… I believe most humans wear a lot of masks in their everyday-"

Ren holds up a hand. "I'm tired of the cop-outs. If that makes me normal, then what about my friends? They're real people with real lives! They have multitudes in them as well! What makes ME DIFFERENT? What makes ME ME?"

Igor gestures for Ren to sit down across from him. "It has been some time since I've had a conversation like this with one of my Wild Cards." He sits in silence for a minute, before continuing. "You remind me of a couple of my other favorite guests. They both asked the same questions you have, though… less vigorously. I suppose that makes sense. Your journey has always been about your identity, and it resolved… poorly. Abruptly. For that, I apologize. The Power of the Wild Card is… unique, among Persona users, yes. It requires a contract of the Velvet Room, usually, though the young man you met and had… poor interactions with was not one of our contractors. As such, he could only summon the two Personas that most resonated with his soul."

Ren sits and listens intently, as Igor continues. "You, on the other hand, were special. Most people, while of course, containing the potential for growth and change, are mostly static individuals. It is hard for a person's base nature to change once they find themselves. That being said, the Power of the Wild Card is given to those exceptional people with a will that is ironclad, and a charisma that is inescapable. Those with the power to make their bonds their strength, in more than just a metaphorical sense. This… can have the problem you are having now, this identity crisis. But let me stress this. Irene is your Persona, and she always will be. The social chameleon, the actress, scoundrel, the brilliant trickster. She is who your rebellion became, and through all, she was the one you could always come back to. The many masks you grew to wear, they exist as facets of her. Of you. Just as my other guests, they had Personas that were similarly adaptable. Orpheus, the storyteller of the underworld. Izanagi, the Father of All. Do I make sense?"

Ren shakes her head. "I'm not sure why I expected you to. None of this has ever made sense. I just did what I had to, and really just went along with everything. I got the mechanics of what I was doing, but all this metaphorical symbolic shit… it's hard to wrap my head around. I took a handful of psychology and philosophy classes in university, and they still didn't help. But I do… feel a bit better, I think."

Igor grins. "I'm glad I could help, then. Do you feel more comfortable with who you are now?"

Ren thinks. "I… think so. I just… need to know. My friends, the bonds I made, those are real, right? They aren't just because I wore the right mask for them… they like me, right?"

Lavenza smiles at Ren. "Of course they do. Everyone says what they think will make people like them, but they're still your words, after all."

Ren takes this to heart. "...Ok. Thank you."

Igor smiles. "Then I believe we're done here, Miss Ren. I do hope next time we come across each other, you will not be trapped."

Ren nods. "I sincerely hope you're right."

Ren wakes up slowly, a lot more well rested than she's been in a while. Morgana sits up as she stirs. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

She idly pats Morgana's head. "Morning, Morgana… I have people I need to see today."

Morgana looks over at her. "Oh? Today's your day off, right? What schemes are you planning?" Ren instinctively winces, before sighing. Morgana looks aside. "...Sorry, poor phrasing."

Ren shakes her head. "It's alright…" She sighs. "...You know what day it is today, right?"

Morgana nods solemnly. "Ren…"

She sits up, contemplating. "He was a jackass. Just the worst. But… he knew himself. And maybe, just maybe, if I go to see the memorial, I can find some answers."

Morgana nods. "I don't think you should be looking for answers from a guy who tried to kill you, but far be it from me to stop you. I know you better than that, Ren."

Ren sighs. "...I don't want to go alone. And, don't get me wrong, Morgana, you're great company, but-"

Morgana puts a paw on her knee. "No, I get you. Who do you want there?"

Ren looks up and down her contacts. "...It's time."

Morgana blinks. "...I see. You two have things to clear up, after all."

Ren nods and dials the number. "...Hey, Makoto… Yeah, I know… I just. I need someone today. Meet me at the station?"

Makoto sighs as she looks at her mounds of paperwork, before standing. "I'm taking an early lunch, I'll be back soon." She walks down to Shibuya Station Square, to see Ren standing there. "...I didn't think I'd see you again after our last conversation."

Ren sighs. "Makoto-"

Makoto shakes her head. "Let's just get this over with, I'm on my lunch break, we don't have a lot of time."

Ren nods. "Of course…" They head over to Kanda, to pray at the church where Akechi's memorial lies. 

Makoto shakes her head. "Even after the man tried to kill you, Ren. I will never understand you."

Ren sighs. "But for my friends, I could have been the same as him. He was… a lot of things. A jackass. A danger to society. A confidant and a rival. And probably the scariest person I've ever met. Present company excluded of course."

Makoto leans back. "I don't know if I should take that as a complement. But to get at the real question, why invite me?"

Ren slumps. "... It was time. I'm not gonna sit here and ask to get back together with you, if that's the concern. That ship has sailed."

Makoto nods. "Good."

Ren looks up. "I wanted to apologize. I knew you wanted to be an officer. I should have supported you. But…"

Makoto sighs. "Ren. You're a lot of things, but compromising is not one of them. If you're going to beat yourself up over something you did with conviction, I'm not going to listen. It happened. Deal with it."

Ren nods slowly. "I suppose. There's still no excuse for the way things ended."

Makoto looks over at her and shakes her head. "Of course not. We were both reckless and hot-headed. You still had one more year in university, I was fresh out and ready to take on the world. I still won't apologize for the path I took."

Ren shakes her head. "Of course not. You've never been compromising, either, have you Queen?"

Makoto winces. Ren and Makoto think back to that day.

One Year Ago...

Ren balls her fists as she looks at Makoto. "...The rest of the force, do they know? Do they, Queen?"

Makoto sighs. "...They don't."

Ren looks over at Makoto. "Are you ashamed of us? Or just worried that your spot on the force might be lost if they knew you were one of the Phantoms?"

Makoto looks hurt. "Listen, I'm not ashamed-"

Ren holds up a hand. "It's ok, Makoto, I'm trying to put it behind me, too. But I didn't have that luxury. I didn't have the option to get a cushy desk job with the force, upholding a system that has ruined the lives of so many people like me. That nearly got all of us killed. That very nearly got ME killed."

Makoto looks away. "... I need to do this, you know that, Ren."

Ren shakes her head. "There's ways to fix the system without being complicit in it."

Makoto grits her teeth. "Why do you assume I'm complicit in it? You're not the only one who's had bad experiences with the police, you know!"

Ren looks at Makoto and rolls her eyes. "I'm sorry, we've all lost people, Makoto. Haru quit her company, Yusuke hasn't even stepped foot inside Madarame's shack in years, we're not even talking about Futaba. Why are you the only one trying to protect the people who have given us so much shit? Why are you helping the system that got your dad killed?"

Makoto decks Ren, fury behind her eyes. "Get out of my apartment."

Ren holds her face. "...Makoto."

Makoto glares at Ren. "You have 24 hours to get your stuff and go back to Sojiro's, or wherever the fuck you want. I don't care anymore. You don't get it, Ren. You never did."

  
  


Today…

Ren sighs and rubs her cheek. "You still uh, have a killer right hook, you know."

Makoto sighs. "...I'm sorry for hitting you. That was uncalled for."

Ren shakes her head. "No, I deserved it."

Makoto leans up against the wall. "I was mad at you, because you were right, you know? Hell, I usually was, those days. Honestly, this was just an excuse for us to break up, we were on the rocks for a while."

Ren nods, listening. Makoto continues. "I quit the force last month. I joined Sis's law firm."

Ren blinks. "...You're joking."

Makoto shakes her head. "Why do you think I'm not in uniform?"

Ren blinks again. "...You know what, I deserve that."

Makoto gives a dry chuckle. "Yeah, I suppose you do. I'm still an intern, I went back to school, trying to pass the bar."

Ren thinks about this for a minute. "I bet your colleagues at the police aren't too pleased about that."

She shakes her head. "No, they aren't. I imagine they'll be even rougher on some of mine and Sis's clients. Just more of a challenge. ...I hope you realize you're still an ass, right?"

Ren laughs. "And you're still a bitch. ...I am sorry, though. I shouldn't have said anything about your dad."

Makoto nods. "You're right, you shouldn't have. But… I forgive you. Since we're in the spirit of overlooking things in the past, anyway."

Ren sighs. "Listen, about Akechi-"

Makoto holds up her hand. "Listen, I can't do anything for your dead boyfriend, couldn't then, can't now. You do need to get over him though."

Ren whines. "He wasn't my boyfriend!"

"Sure, whatever you tell yourself, Ren." They both laugh as they walk back to the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy, sorry this one took so long to get out after the last few were so rapid. I was finishing up Royal, desperately trying to get to the end, so I could see if there was anything I wanted to put in. I've decided... No. I don't think so. I think the base game has plenty of meat to write about, I don't need to add anything from the new content, as much as I loved it. None of it really changes the characters too much, and as much as I love the new girl, I don't think she adds anything in this particular story. 
> 
> Also, fuck, this chapter went through like, 12 rewrites. Just figuring out the Velvet Room scene was hard as hell. Also, I decided instead of Arsene, Ren's original Persona is based on Irene Adler, from the Sherlock Holmes stories. I figured it felt appropriate.


	7. Detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kawakami and Ryuji go out for another bite to eat, to discuss the Phantom Thieves' more... unsavory activities, so that Kawakami can see how best to help Ren.

Sadayo feels a hand on her shoulder and jumps, before turning and seeing Ryuji. "Oh, Sakamoto, you scared me. Don't sneak up on me like that."

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to spook ya. You doing all right? You look a little rough today. Seemed like you were feeling better the last time we talked, but seems like something's eating at you again."

Sadayo thinks. "...I've got some questions for you, Sakamoto, if you don't mind me picking your brain after school."

Ryuji grins. "Anything I can do to help! Wanna grab a bite while we talk? There's a diner in Shibuya that's usually pretty quiet."

She nods, thinking for a bit. "...That should be fine, thank you." She looks at the time. "...Didn't your gym class start five minutes ago?"

His eyes widen and he sprints off to his class, swearing under his breath. Sadayo shakes her head and sighs. "I wonder about that guy, sometimes. Can't even be on time to the class he teaches." She leans back in her chair. "...Still, he's surprisingly perceptive. Or maybe I'm just that easy to read." She rubs her forehead and gets back to work…

After school, she waits by the front gate for Ryuji. He grins at Sadayo as he approaches. "Ready to go, sensei?"

Sadayo sighs. "I told you, you don't have to keep calling me sensei, Sakamoto."

He shrugs. "I dunno, it still feels weird calling you by name, Kawakami. I've not exactly been out of school super long, after all."

Sadayo looks up as they walk to the station. "I suppose that's fair. Still, I'm not your teacher anymore. Is it weird when students call you Sensei?"

Ryuji nods. "Oh, extremely. I can't seem to get them to stop, either. I've managed to get most of them to settle on Coach, at least, which feels a little… less weird."

"Yeah, that makes sense." They walk in silence for a bit, before reaching the train. "So, uh, Sakamoto, how's the track team doing?"

He grins. "They're looking great~ At least one of my guys sets a new PB every other day or so, I'm really proud of them!"

Sadayo smiles over at him. "That's great."

Ryuji sighs. "That ain't what you wanted to ask though, was it? Something's eating you, and this small talk's a distraction."

She shakes her head. "...Let's wait til we get to the diner, ok?"

One awkward train ride later…

Ryuji and Sadayo sit down and order a couple of drinks. "So, what's up?"

Sadayo sips her drink. "I wanted to ask you about the Phantom Thieves."

Ryuji grins. "You came to the right guy, I can tell ya anything you wanna know~"

Sadayo sighs. "Ren was your leader, right? When the police mentioned they captured the leader of the Thieves, Ren mysteriously stopped going to school, it wasn't hard to put two and two together."

Ryuji nods, his face darkening. "Yeah, that's right. Best damn leader we could have asked for, too, but that was… a scary day, not going to lie. Even though I knew everything was gonna go perfectly, of course."

Sadayo shakes her head. "A-anyway, Sakamoto, I wanted to ask, what kinds of things did you all get into? Anything actually illegal?"

Ryuji thinks for a moment. "Off the record, right? I don't need to get fired or anything."

She nods. "Of course, I'm not here to grill you."

Ryuji sighs. "Thanks. Well, for the most part, everything we did was above board. Nothing that would be prosecutable anyway. Like, the stealing hearts thing was… probably not legal, all things considered, but how were we gonna be tried for it? But pretty much everything else?" He thinks for a bit. "Um, we snuck into a mob boss's hideout? But we didn't actually do anything, he just tried to blackmail us with stuff."

Sadayo's eyes widen. "What the hell?"

Ryuji shakes his head. "Hey, don't look at me, we were bailing out Makoto!"

Sadayo's eyes get wider. "Niijima-san???"

Ryuji groans. "God, she's gonna kill me for saying that. Forget all of that! For the most part- ...Hmm, ok, some of the hacking stuff we had Futaba do was also probably very illegal."

Sadayo groans and rubs her temples. "Ok, I don't need to know the details."

Ryuji nods. "But… uh, yeah, I think everything else… I mean, I'm not sure everything Ren did for us, I'm not gonna lie… She uh, was kinda doing her own thing most of the time she wasn't hanging out with one of us? I think she got involved in some weird drug trial thing? And something about Yakuza?"

"Jesus Christ, you all were such idiots…"

Ryuji leans back. "...Yeah, we were."

Sadayo blinks. "...I'm dreaming. Did Sakamoto just admit to being wrong?"

Ryuji nods. "Honestly, I just kinda showed up when Ren wanted to do stuff for the Thieves. Ren may have made some mistakes along the way, but I know if I was in charge, we woulda gotten caught like, 2 weeks in. Ren's great at that whole, like, grand strategy thing, I just showed up to hit things and run fast. And I've only heard, like, half the stories of what Ren got up to without us, I know there's no way I coulda handled everything she did without getting myself killed. Or worse, the rest of us. Ren was kind of… good at everything, really. I mean, you saw, she was head of the class by the end of the year, despite missing nearly a month of school."

Sadayo nods. "How much did you really know about her, though?"

Ryuji blinks. "Huh? I'm not sure what you mean?"

"I've been talking to her recently, and a few things she said made me pause. Girl needs a therapist, bad."

He sighs. "You're right. Trust me, all of us have tried to make her go at one point or another. Honestly, we've all needed one, at one point or another. Shit was… traumatic, not gonna lie. And she got it way worse than the rest of us. I can only guess what happened behind closed doors in that station. On top of well, the whole trans thing too."

Sadayo rests her head against the back of the booth. "At least the rest of you have gotten help."

Ryuji nods. "Really, it was all thanks to Haru. Poor girl, she needed it the most at the time. Watched her dad… Well, you know the story. She said it really helped her work through everything, and eventually, we all went. All of us but Ren, that is. She's… stubborn. You think I'm bad at saying I'm wrong? She's way worse. It's… a monumental task getting her to say that she's… well, weak, for lack of a better word. She has to be… perfect, all the time. And that's gotta be draining, right? I can't imagine that's healthy. But she won't listen to us say she needs help. She keeps saying 'I don't need help, I have you guys, that's all the help I need.' And it's not, right? Like, we shouldn't have to be able to pick up the pieces, right?"

Sadayo shakes her head. "It's not fair on you guys, no. It's good for her to rely on you all, it's certainly better than nothing, but it seems like she's got problems she won't even tell you. ...She sees everything as a skill to be perfected, a game to be mastered. But in doing so, she's paralyzed by her need to perfectly coordinate her life. Which isn't healthy. It's going to end up killing her when she runs into something she can't account for."

Ryuji nods again, contemplating. "...Can't you try to talk to her? Maybe she'll listen to you. I know she looked up to you."

Sadayo barks out a bitter laugh. "Looked up to me? I doubt that."

He shakes his head. "No, seriously. You shoulda heard her when she talked about helping you out with that uh, money issue. Something like 'Kawakami-sensei has a problem. A big problem. And until we help her with it, she's not going to be able to help anyone, much less herself. She… wants to help so much.'" Ryuji thinks for a bit. "You know, you reminded me of her, at the time. Always burning the candle at both ends, scraping everything together, just so you could help one more person."

Sadayo looks up, thinking. "...I suppose. Well, I think that's everything I wanted to talk about, Sakamoto. I feel… a little better now, I think? I'll… see what I can do about Ren."

Ryuji grins. "If anyone can do it, I know it's you~"

Sadayo chooses to not acknowledge the unspoken.  _ And if you can't… no one can. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is such a short chapter, I just started back at work, so chapters will likely be a bit shorter and a bit farther apart for a bit until my schedule stabilizes. But I wanted to get something out for y'all~ Hopefully before too long, I can get to actual Events(TM) and stop dealing with The Consequences Of Teens Saving The World, and the Where Are They Now Stories.


	8. Update

Hi, so I wanna apologize for the radio silence. The last few months have been... not great for my executive dysfunction, as you might expect, between COVID isolation and going back to work afterwards, it's been a Ride(TM). 

Anyway! I do actually have plans to continue this fic, it's just been a little rough keeping up. I'm trying to work on my other fic too, but that's also in a bit of a roadblock, and given my brain refuses to let me add to this until I catch up with that one too, well... ^^; Needless to say this one's been going slow. But I swear I do I have Ideas(TM). Ren/Kawakami does have potential for fluffy things, and I will eventually Get To The Fluff(TM), once I get past the uh, Trauma lmao.

I wanted some feedback for where to go next, as well. As of right now, I've been going back and forth between Ren and Kawakami's perspectives every other chapter. This does have the unfortunate side effect of potentially wrecking pacing, so I'm wondering, should I keep that back and forth, or give myself the flexibility to mix it up? Likewise, I've been kinda trying to hit the highlights, say hi to every confidant, etc., any in particular people want me to talk to? Skip? I do have plans to eventually talk to everyone, but you know how it goes. I've at least name-dropped most of them, and I do have plans for some of the others. Meanwhile, at the moment, the plot kinda is focusing on Ren, Kawakami really only has so much she can really do for her, and I'm not totally sure where to go with her right now. I don't want to just spend like, 6 chapters only focusing on Ren though, either. Ideas are totally welcome, I read all the comments. 

Once again, I wanna apologize for the silence, I swear I am still alive and working on things! I appreciate everyone's patience with me during these trying times.


End file.
